The Children Waiting for Families

There are many children waiting for adoption who may have complex needs. They may have uncertain backgrounds, a learning or physical disability, or emotional difficulties arising from their early experiences. They may need to be placed with their brothers or sisters in a sibling group.

Caritas Care works with other Voluntary Agencies and Local Authorities in the North West in trying to find the right families for all these children. Most of the children we place come from the North of England, however we also place children from all over the country. The most important thing is to ensure that the right family is found for the child or children waiting.

You can see some profiles of the kind of children we place here.

Sally’s Story – placed for adoption at age 5 years

Sally had lived with her birth mother for the first 18 months of her life. Her birth mum suffered from mental ill health and despite her efforts to care for her, was often in hospital. Sally had no other family members who could care for her and she became used to being cared for by lots of different friends and neighbours. This did not meet Sally’s needs, and concerns about her care led to her being placed with foster carers at the age of 2 years.

At first, Sally was confused and anxious, and missed her mother. The foster carer took her to visit her birth mum in hospital, but while Mum was happy to see her, she was unable to respond to Sally’s needs. It was finally decided by a court that Sally needed the permanence and security of adoption.

When Sally’s social worker first approached Caritas Care, Sally was 4 years old and had become settled with her foster carer. She did enjoy the cuddles and attention from her carer, but was demanding on occasions. The foster carer felt that this behaviour was understandable in view of Sally’s early life, and while Sally was anxious about some things, the carer and Nursery commented upon her progress, during her 2 years in foster care.

The social worker responsible for Sally wanted a new family who could accept Sally’s background, and the fact that her birth mum had a mental illness. The family identified was Sarah, who was a single woman, with some experience of children through her work. Sarah also had a very supportive extended family. During Sarah’s home study to prepare her to become an adoptive parent, she had considered if she could care for a child where a parent had a mental illness.

Sarah and her so cial worker had researched aspects of mental illness in some depth, and once Sarah knew she was being considered as Sally’s new parent, she and her worker were provided with more information about Sally’s history and that of her birth family, from the local authority. This helped Sarah decide if she could be Sally’s Mum.

A great deal of work was done to ensure that both Sally and Sarah were prepared and supported as they began their journey to becoming mother and daughter. Sarah took Sally home just before her 5th birthday. Sarah would agree that the first 6months were challenging at times, as Sally had to learn to trust her. Now two years on, she is settled, attends her local school, and is proving to be a bright little girl, who is eager to learn. Sally occasionally sees her previous foster carer and is always interested in any children she is caring for.

Sarah helps Sally draw a picture for her birth mum which she sends to her through the local authority. Sarah also writes a letter to her every year, to re-assure her that Sally is well. As Sally grows up, Sarah will continue to help her understand why her birth mum could not look after her.

Sarah says that she could not imagine life without her daughter!