Faces of Fostering – Sobia and Akmal’s first fostering placement.

Faces of Fostering – Sobia and Akmal’s first fostering placement.

We waited a long time since approval, but we always knew that would happen because Caritas Care take the matching process very seriously. We had siblings, two boys aged 9 & 11 years of age who came to us in April 2021, and are still with us now.’

‘The night they came to us, we knew they were worth the wait. They have settled in with our boys and at school and are now making friends within our family and our community.’

‘The youngest boy was initially struggling in his class at school, he was unsettled at first, however, we have given him structure and used the therapeutic parenting skills we have gained from Caritas Care to make him feel safe, and this has had a positive effect on him.’

‘Since the start of term, he’s not had a day out of class and has been ‘Star of the Week’, there has been a massive improvement in his work and his behaviour. It is very rewarding to see him achieve this, and both of the boys have matured because they feel safe.’

The boys have gelled together, and life is all about football!

The boys all love football, everything they do is about football, and I now know who Peke, Neymar and Pele are, I know them all now! We are a very active family; we have taken the boys on visits to the Lake District and both boy’s have had their birthdays with us which has been great, and it is positive.’

‘Our birth children and our foster children may have gelled together over their love of football; however, they respect each other’s needs for space.’

‘Our oldest son is 14 years old next month, and our youngest is 11, he is the same age as the eldest foster child, and the youngest foster child is 9 years old. They are a very mixed bag of strong characters, and each child has lovely personalities.’

‘Sometimes, the boys are opinionated, but we respect that, and they each have separate space to enable them to be themselves as individuals. But there is a good friendship that has developed with the boys and our oldest son is a role model for the younger children; he is calm and reserved. Our youngest son has more humour and is more outgoing and has gelled more; he is the role model for the younger foster child.’

‘Our aim was to get the boys settled and to make them feel safe and secure with us’

‘However, there are challenges and sometimes it is not easy. I am used to working on a professional level with children, but, when I see it as a parent and I am aware of the adverse childhood experiences they boys have faced, it is not as black and white now.’

‘I see how things are different for the boys and I understand their reactions and the impact it will have on their mental health and well-being, both at home and at school to deal with this correctly.’

‘At these points, we stand back and reflect on their communication to us; sometimes it comes across as challenging, however, the Therapeutic Parenting helps us to look around the reasons, and Akmal and I do that well together.’

‘It is difficult, because with our own children we will react as parents do, but, with our foster children, it is different; we have to look at the source because of their experiences. However, fostering the boys is definitely rewarding, we are happy that we made the decision to foster as a family and none of us have any regrets’.

‘All the boys aspire for the future, the eldest foster child wants to be a banker, and we have told him, if you want to be a banker, we will help you to do this.’

‘They are very bright boys, and we will support them and walk with them down their path and share their vision. The youngest boy isn’t sure what he wants to do, he keeps changing his mind!’

‘We take little nuggets of information they share with us of what want to do, and by working with them, we help them to achieve their goals.’

‘We want the boys to believe in themselves in whatever they do, whether it is swimming or working hard at school. Akmal takes both boys swimming and at first, the boys were unsure and lacked confidence, but with patience they have conquered this. The boys have hope now, they are becoming independent through achieving things and conquering their fears and they are excited by this.’

Click here to read more about Sobia and Akmal’s fostering story…

Click here to enquire about fostering with Caritas Care

Rated Outstanding by Ofsted.

 

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