Caritas Care

Dear Adopter, Love E

Creating chances, choices & opportunities for people
to live the best lives they can.

Call: 01772 732313

Dear Adopter, Love E

Dear Adopter,

I had wanted to be a Mummy for as long as I can remember.

After finally meeting the man of my dreams and getting married at the ripe old age of 36 we continued to enjoy life and try for our much wanted family.

Why would we have problems?

We were healthy, fit and active….after a year or so, we started to think we may need to see someone.

I had suffered from endometriosis in the past but had never thought this would cause us too many issues – fast forward four years, chronic endometriosis, five major operations, three failed IVF’s and a heart-breaking miscarriage – life was pretty rough.

We stayed strong and decided that we needed to live our life and see what life would bring us.

We took 12 months off life revolving around “trying for a baby” and all the pressure that brings to you as a couple and tried to find a new balance and perspective.

We needed time to think long and hard about the adoption route.

In the beginning, my husband was never as sure on adoption and this brought many disagreements in my desperation to be a mummy and have our own forever family. I wasn’t desperate to carry a child of my own – it was more about us being a family.

And so started the research, the reading and the talking and talking and talking………

At the end of that year, we agreed we felt sure it was 100% the right decision for us to pursue adoption through Caritas, having heard many good things through friends of friends who had adopted with them.

With some trepidation we called and arranged our first meeting. We were nervous and felt like we were going to be “interviewed”, but after our initial meeting we came away feeling excited and for the first time in a very long time, positive for the future and that we could start to dream once again about being a Mummy and Daddy.

Three months later we started “Course 1” along with two other couples – a three day training course which took us on a roller coaster of emotions. We learnt things that took us out of our comfort zone but for us we kept thinking of what we wanted.

A family.

During the course of the next few months there were lots of individual meetings, and joint meetings and sometimes some very personal questions and discussions and lots and lots of paperwork which at points made me feel like I was going crazy – I decided that we needed a pay-off and so we would spend weekends doing all the paperwork and reading we were given and then we would reward ourselves with a lovely meal out and some drinks where we could be “us”.

I am not saying it was easy during this time but we tried to keep positive and look to the future and not to the past – we were closer to our forever family every step of the way.

We were also really lucky to have got on really well with the other two couples on the course so we would meet them and discuss our journey and the various stages we were at.

It is amazing when you talk to people in the same position you realise you are all going through the same thing and have the same anxieties and worries.

We celebrated (and captured) every milestone from passing panel to finally becoming approved adopters – we hoped one day to be able to show our son or daughter this part of our journey.

We were extremely lucky to have been matched with our beautiful daughter almost immediately and we finally met her when she was 18 months old – nine months after we very first started the first Caritas course. It was an incredible day that we will never forget – waking up that morning knowing we were meeting our daughter that very day was like a dream come true and such a precious memory.

We felt like we already knew her from all of the meetings and photographs that we had received but nothing will prepare you for when you first meet them and hold them in your arms – it is overwhelming but we finally felt complete.

The next few months were a whirlwind of getting to know one another through a haze of joyful tiredness and the beginning of everyone trying to understand one another.

We find ourselves not quite believing it sometimes – we have this little person that has stolen everyone’s heart and is our precious daughter and calls us Mummy and Daddy.

We know there will be ups and downs along the way but we know we will cross those bridges when we come to them in the same positive way that we began this journey.

For now though we are taking it all in – not overthinking anything, loving every minute of our lives and most of all cherishing our new Forever Family.

Good Luck with your journey,

Love E x

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