Sarah*, adoptive mother

Sarah*, adoptive mother

Sarah, an adoptive mother of one, always wanted a biological child but also knew she wanted to adopt one day. She initially thought you need to be in a relationship to have children but, once she reached 40, she realised she didn’t need to have a partner and didn’t need to give birth to be a mother.

Though Sarah knows this wouldn’t happen today, at the beginning of her adoption journey more than 11 years ago, Sarah was turned down because she was a single parent – but this didn’t put her off revisiting the idea 3 years later.

Sarah says the support and training she’s had through her adoption experience has been invaluable. Before adoption, despite being the only single adopter in her training group, she loved the experience and found everyone extremely welcoming.

She says that her daughter’s foster carers are like ‘angels’ that have been caring, kind and have supported her along with friends and family throughout the adoption. As a single working mum, this support network has been vital to her.

Sarah didn’t have much experience looking after children but, coming from a family of five, she was very used to looking after her brothers and sisters while growing up. Family and friends warned her that it would be a big lifestyle change, to this day, she has never wavered or regretted her decision to adopt.

Adoption has seen Sarah grow a bigger social circle that has broadened her life – she’s opened up to new experiences that she wouldn’t have done in her previous life as a single woman. Her daughter’s education, hobbies and passions, such as theatre and acting, have introduced Sarah to a world she wouldn’t have been involved in otherwise.

With Sarah of Jamaican heritage, and her daughter of mixed heritage, Sarah ensures that her daughter has her feet firmly in both cultures; though, in the end, she is just a modern British child.

Sarah often  wondered if  her daughter would share  any similarities with her, and  over the years, she has seen many of her own traits and behaviours appear in her daughter – clearly nurture really plays a part in development!

Sarah says:

“I would say that having my daughter changed my life for the better – being her mother gives me purpose knowing I am giving my daughter opportunities to be the best version of herself by giving her a loving nurturing home and trust and stability.

“She is happy and as a ten-year-old says she wouldn’t want her life any other way. We speak in an age-appropriate way about her birth family and she gains peace and (at this stage of her life) knows that one day if she wants she will hopefully get to meet her birth parents and get a chance to share with them her life and all that she has achieved.

Being a mother has been a great experience, seeing my daughter grow from a bright happy little toddler to a happy intelligent beautiful young lady has been heart-warming and makes me proud every single day since the day I met her”

“I always thought I needed to be in a relationship to be a mother.  And I realised that, actually, you know, I can do this on my own. I felt that I had a lot of love, a lot of energy, and life experience, and I just wanted to use the life skills that I had to help a young child.

At the time of the preparation training, I was the only single adopter that was there but those professionals were really good and made me feel very welcome.

I’m growing my daughter wings so that she can just… be who she wants to be. I’ll take her to that door so she can walk through it and find her way.”

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